Miley Cyrus 'Can't Be Tamed', Or So She Says

I know what you're thinking. I take huge breaks in blogging only to return and talk about Miley Cyrus. Yeah, I'm kinda disappointed in myself, too.

 

The thing is, I really, really want to hate Miley's supposed last hurrah single. But it's one of those songs that you just can't get out of your head -- mostly because it's something we've all heard before (::cough:: Britney Spears. Max Martin. "If You Seek Amy" ::cough::). Still, Miley seems to have a penchant for doing guilty pleasure pop the right way. Tis a shame she will be kicking it all to the curb in favor of being the badass she continues to claim to be (particularly, in this track). Here are a few points about the song that back up my claims that it's really not as bad as you're fearing:

• It's the lead single for Miley's supposedly last pop album. In fact, she stated this is the case because music is largely uninspiring for her at this point -- and let's be honest, just about all of what's coming out of the UK, Australia, Germany, Sweden, Korea, Japan, hell even Canada, is a bit more exciting than what America has to offer, so she might be onto something.
  
  
• It's produced by Antonina Armato, Tim James and John Shanks, apparently known as the Rock Mafia collective. Their credits together read like a who's who in catchy tween pop (I suppose they are like the Xenomania of the Disney set), including Miley's previous hit "See You Again", Selena Gomez & the Scene's "Naturally", Vanessa Hudgen's "Come Back To Me", and various High School Musical catalog choices. Shanks is also responsible for the modern day masterpiece that is Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway album.
  
  
• Miley herself has stated this song, as well as the majority of its corresponding album, was largely inspired by Lady Gaga.
  
  
• I find myself blaring this rather than Christina Aguilera's "Not Myself Tonight." What is the world coming to?
  
  
• It's catchy as hell. I mostly chalk this up to the pulsating, unrelenting, dark synthy beat.

However, this is Miley we're talking about -- so there are some drawbacks. Largely:

• It's not nearly as good as "Party In the USA", which wasn't nearly as good as "See You Again." Therefore, it doesn't exactly scream #1 hit in the US. However, considering Usher's "OMG" is the current chart topper in my homeland, a song that is a mere shadow of what Usher used to be, I suppose stranger things have happened.
   
• Say what you want about Miley (the Disney label, the verbal pretentiousness, the self-entitlement, the nepotism, the fame-whoring...but I'm getting ahead of myself), girlfriend brought home the bank. She also brought home the tunage. "See You Again" and "Party In the USA" (minus Jay-Z references) were truly epic pieces of modern pop. So the fact that Miley is once again going down the tired avenue of "I used to be a Good Girl/Now, I'm a Bad Girl" path is excruciatingly dried up. I could deal with the "real" Miley if it meant that she wouldn't be bad mouthing her own back catalog -- something that infuriates the hell out of me when done by artists whose material I geniunely like.
  
  
• It sounds a hell of a lot like "If You Seek Amy". Not saying that's a terrible thing, it's just that if Max Martin wasn't already sitting pretty on a stack of dollars from the late 90's/early 00's teen pop boom, he could sue, and win.
  
  
• In the first verse, there's a line that goes: "I always get the 10s/Because I'm built like that." However, the first few times I heard it, I thought she said, "I always pitch the tent/Because I'm built like that" and got rather flustered. When I realized that was not the real words, I was kind of disappointed..in a sick way.
  
  
• The video attempts to be edgy, dark and risque, but ends up being lame and vaguely frustrating for me, as a so-called "feminist." It's not that I'm against exerting your sexuality, its just, she's 17 years old, the daughter of a musician whose former hairstyle trumps any of his actual material, and came to fame playing a fake popstar on Disney sitcom. It's all very...strange. I suppose this is what happens when you begin working 24/7 at 11 to become a popstar and have no chance to engage in normal teenage activities like Halloween or school dances. Or something.
  
  
• The allusions to birds, and the random, cackling squeal in the second verse, is just about the most bewildering thing I've ever heard. I shall chalk this up to my inherent ornithophobia (read: intense fear of any and all birds). Yes, it's real. Eventually, I shall seek therapy for it. 

At any rate, Can't Be Tamed (the album), is due for release in late June. Check out the video in all of its emo peacock glory below. Someone should really mix this cut with "If You Seek Amy". It would make me very happy indeed.